*Originally published 11/8/18*
I just finished the 80 Day Obsession! If you don’t know what that is, it is a pretty extensive workout program from Beachbody that uses cardio, weights and resistance bands. I started it at the end of July. It took me longer than 80 days, due to traveling and sick days, but I did it!
If you would have told me a year ago I would be working out in general, let alone a whole 80 day work out regimen, I would have laughed in your face. A year ago, I thought I was going to die and, at times, I wanted to. I was getting paralyzed every day, all day. I lost all freedoms; no driving, no school, no showering alone, no being alone. It was pure torture. Luckily, I have the most amazing family ever who never gave up on me and helped me get the care I needed.
Now, I am doing amazing; dare I say the best I have felt in these past 6 years. I can’t remember the last time I was paralyzed. Here I am fresh from completing the 80 Day Obsession and I cannot wait to do it again! I am taking 3 classes at school and have A’s in all 3. I also got into the University of Maryland University College so that I can start working more while taking classes.
Oh, and I went to freakin’ California on my own! Yup, last month I went to visit one of my Lymie sisters, Hannah, in California for a few days. It was absolutely amazing and I cannot wait to go back!
In the past, when I have traveled I would have to prepare for the aftermath. I would go away, comeback and crash, sleeping for days on end unable to do anything. But not this time. This time, I was full of energy. Do you know what that felt like? It felt like heaven.
Now, this energy has faded a bit since the yucky weather is moving in and I actually got a sinus infection and had to be put on antibiotics. Normally, the antibiotics would have wiped me for weeks, but not this time. They got me down for a few days, (I actually couldn’t muster up the strength to complete day 80 for 4 days!) but it hasn’t even been a week and I am already feeling myself coming around!
The Chinese medicines I am on are a huge factor in why I am feeling better and am able to bounce back quicker. I am so grateful for them! I think after years and years of harsh antibiotics, my body was in shock. These medicines are not only eradicating whatever bacteria are left, but are also healing my body. I am not quite in remission (yet) but I feel pretty darn good.
For the past 6 years, I have felt like a prisoner in my own body. Forced to do whatever my body wanted just so I could function on a daily basis. Now, I am mostly in control. I can dictate what I do, and when I do it. Sometimes I still have to go easy, but my body and I are now in synchronization- for the most part. We are a in a partnership instead of a dictatorship. It took us 6 years, but now we finally understand each other.
I know when I am tired I need to go lighter on my workouts, and then I can still get them done. I know sometimes all I need to do is sit, curled up with a good book to give my body the recovery it needs. The best part is I do not mind doing these things anymore. In the past, I would get angry when I was too sick to work out or do the things I wanted. Now, I am thankful that I can hear when my body is letting me know I am pushing too hard, so that I can take care of it before I crash.
This all really came into perspective when I was away. I called my mom while I was away and told her I had been crying, but they weren’t sad tears, they were happy. I was driving along the Malibu canyon, with my window down, jamming out to Shawn Mendes and it hit me- I am free. I am independent. I am living.
For the first time in 6 years, I can feel my identity other than the “sick girl” coming forward, and I can’t wait to see what’s next.
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