*Originally published 7/8/13*
Recently I've been feeling a little better, which is great, but also a little scary. When I start to feel better, I get scared. It makes me scared to get my hopes up because I know I could feel terrible the next day. My family talks about next school year, which starts in a month and a half, like I'm going to be back to normal. I'm not that optimistic.
It takes people years and years to get better from Lyme. I find it hard to believe that I could get better this quickly. I haven't even been treating the Lyme for a year yet. This disease is not like others. Everyone reacts differently to the medicines, and I know that, but I still can't let myself think I'll be better in a month and a half. It would be great if I was, but I don't think I will be cured! It also makes me think about my other Lymies. Why is it fair for me to be cured while they still fight the battle? Most of them have had it far longer than I have, and I don't think it's right that I get better before them.
Lyme has affected all of our lives in so many ways. I am supposed to be taking some really hard classes next year and taking my SATs getting ready for college. How am I supposed to do that with Lyme? I am also supposed to be getting prepared to drive. I haven't had anytime to do Driver's Ed because I've been too worried about getting better.
This past weekend, my family had a big party. When I went to bed, everything hurt and I was so afraid of how I would feel the next day. When I woke up, I felt alright. I wasn't tired or in pain which was great. Yesterday, I was in the car on the way to New Jersey. The car ride made me a bit sore, but I'm excited for the week ahead of me! It's nice to actually get to have fun for a little while. It will also help me to know if I really am getting better.
I'm really proud of myself for how I behaved this weekend. We had so much food at my house and everything had gluten in it. There were pretzels, brownies, pasta, cookies and much more. I didn't eat any of it. It took a lot of will power but I thought: "is it worth feeling terrible?" Being gluten free is hard, but it's worth it to get better.
Going through Lyme has put my life in perspective. I realize that you can't take things for granted, like playing sports and hanging with friends. You have to savor these things. I also realized how big of problem Lyme disease really is.
After having Lyme, it makes me want to have a bigger voice. I want to raise awareness and funds for Lyme research and the people who have it. It's not fair how we get treated by the people who are supposed to help us. I don't know how people can look at us and not help us. They let people die and still maintain that they are crazy. Well, I've had enough. It's time for people to open their eyes and minds and realize that Lyme Disease is a real epidemic that's not going away and needs to be stopped and treated.
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