*Originally published 8/28/13*
Last week, 4 of my Lyme friends and I started a group text message that is still on going! We talk everyday pretty much about everything! It's so much fun! If one of us is feeling down we cheer them up. We send funny videos and pictures and share food ideas for our Lyme friendly diets! If we have a question about a doctor or a symptom, we ask and get plenty of feedback! It's so nice to have the people that really understand. We don't judge when we spend the whole day in bed or don't shower. We all know exactly how the other is feeling and we know that it takes time. At night when we all can't sleep, we talk to each other and try to help each other calm down. We all live in different parts of the east coast, so we have never actually met. It's crazy that you can be so open with people you've never met, but we can.
We are all living through the same awful disease. We know how to relate. We are part of the same Lyme family! I consider these girls my family and I love them all so much! They are the strongest people I know!
No one really realizes how strong us Lymies are. Nobody realizes the constant battle it is for us just to get out of bed in the morning. Daily tasks that people find easy are almost impossible for us.
This week, I started my junior year of high school. Instead of having a full schedule with 7 classes I am having an abbreviated schedule with only 4 classes so I can sleep more in the morning. Some people find this lucky that I get to sleep more, but I wouldn't give anything to be healthy and go for a full school day. I was supposed to be taking 2 college-level classes this year, but I had to drop it to 1 because I am having so many memory issues. It would just be too hard to do them both.
Just thinking about school gives me anxiety! Last night I was crying because I was so nervous. But my week hasn't been as bad as I thought! I'm still really tired and sore but I hope I can deal with it. Although I am only taking 4 classes,the work load is still going to be as hard as last year. Even though I had 7 classes last year, I really only went to 4.5 classes a day because I always missed the beginning or end of the day. I'm hoping this year will be better than last year!
Last week I went to my doctors appt. My doctor put me on another antibiotic, along with some vitamins, a medicine they give to people with Alzheimer's for my brain fog, and ambien to help me sleep. The ambien hasn't helped much though. I'm glad I went to my doctor when I did, though, because I had a weird rash. It turns out that it is the bartonella rash (another co-infection of Lyme). It scares me that with antibiotics I still get new symptoms.
As I am writing this my hands are shaking, I'm seeing spots and I'm dizzy but I keep going. When I felt bad last night and was crying, my sister kept saying: "Think of all the people who have it worse than you." Which is what I'm doing.
I got through school today because of a friend who can't go to school. I am fighting through my tremors for another friend who had a seizure the other night. I am trying to not let the fatigue win for another Lymie who is exhausted from school and still has band practice. I am trying to have fun with friends for another friend who can't do sports with her friends for her senior year. I am trying to be positive for my friend and her sisters who are all sick.
There are so many people who are affected by this disease in some way. There needs to be an end! There needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel! The darkness is getting a little bit lighter each day with more and more people acknowledging us and our disease! I'm not saying there will be a cure anytime soon, but hopefully there will be doctors' appointments that are covered by insurance. More things to be done to prevent Lyme. More awareness. More advocates! I do this for the people who can't! I fight for those who don't have the strength anymore!
I love all my Lymies with all my heart!
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