*Originally published 12/3/19*
I took an online exam the other night—I got a 100% on it too. The second I finished, I was up in the bathroom dry heaving—this is my life.
You’d never know by looking at me the constant pain and turmoil that my body is in. While taking my test, my stomach started to bloat and the pain became so bad I started sweating. I wish I could say this is a rare occurrence, but that’d be a lie.
I rarely ever have moments when something isn’t bothering me. If it’s not my stomach, it’s my head. If it’s not my head, it my hand shaking. If it’s not my hands shaking, it’s my vision blurring—and on and on the cycle goes.
One of my favorite quotes is “you never how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have,” and that describes the chronic illness life to a spoon (if you get it, you get it).
Sometime people will say “I don’t know how you do that” (often talking about the “weird” foods on my diet) and my answer if simple—I have no other choice. Or when I mention how I get paralyzed and people freak out—I just have to keep pushing on.
When you have a chronic illness, your stuck with it for life. You can wallow in self pity—and believe me I have had my fair share of“why me” moments—or you can choose to fight.
We may have to do some things we never thought we’d EVER have to do (looking at you stool sample collections) and eat some things that no one would intentionally try (yummy avocado brownies). But we don’t have another option.
To give up is to die—literally. Now I’m not saying you can’t ever get angry and have those why me moments (like I just did), but the important step is picking yourself up after.
So go pick yourself up, put on your essential oils (stomach pain be gone!) , wear those sunglasses inside (what’s up light sensitivity) and tell your disease to go suck it—just like the tick that gave it to you. (See what I did there?)
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